AEROSMITH THREATENS TO ROCK SEATTLE

Steve and Joe say ‘Look at our tongues.’

AEROSMITH THREATENS TO ROCK SEATTLE

Seattle, WA - Legendary rock band Aerosmith recently threatened summer plans to perform a concert of the most awful music imaginable in Seattle, during it’s upcoming, ‘Six-Feet Alive and Still Rock-Rocking” tour.

Lead singer Steven Tyler and guitarist Joe Perry made the announcement during a recent podcast interview, declaring, "We're going to play all kinds of terrible ‘Smith mega-hits - 'Dream On', 'Sweet Emotion', probably our most famous sexing song about ‘in an elevator'.” Tyler said. "We're going to give something truly offensive to the people of Seattle, something they'll never forget. Something they'll wish they could forget, but they never will. Like, they’ll TRY to forget, but they wont be able to. Even if they try and sleep, they will think about it and be sleeping. Too bad. That’s called a ‘nightmare’ baby, a-sho-buh-dee-bop-a-doo-wow!”

The city of Seattle has responded to the threat of the concert with a mixture of fear and indifference. Some residents remain completely unaware of the impending deluge, while others have taken to social media to express their outrage.

"I can't believe the Aerosmith would do this to us," wrote one Tumblr user. "They're supposed to be one of the greatest bands of music, why can’t they play some cool, modern DJ songs or something? This is just disrespectful and hurtful."

Despite the backlash, Tyler and Perry remain undeterred.

"We don’t care! We're going to rock Seattle like it's never been rocked before," Tyler said. "And if people don't like it, well, I’m Steven Tyler!"

Tickets for the concert, to take place at Climate Pledge Arena, are on sale now and the band warns that they will play no matter what, to a sold-out crowd, or for the perverse pleasure of a single audio-masochist.