HERE’S SOMETHING THEY WON'T TEACH YOU IN SCHOOL: BY BILLY JOE

Billy Joe heard something crazy at Arby’s

HERE’S SOMETHING THEY WON'T TEACH YOU IN SCHOOL: BY BILLY JOE

Hey! It's me! Billy Joe! From Greenday! The Band! Check this out; I’m gonna be hittin’ you with some heavy knowledge that those ‘Clowns’ in the ‘System’ never wanted you to know! So, pull up a chair, and prepare for a mind-blowing revelation about Toad from Super Mario Bros. You are NOT going to like this.

Alright, my fellow truth seekers, I’ll bet no one ever told you that Toad smells so bad! Why would they? Seriously, ‘They’ just want you to eat potato chips and watch football and pretend like Toad doesn’t even smell so bad! Talk about, ‘Yes sir, right away sir!’.

You know, I've always thought that something just didn’t quite add up about Toad. Then, the other day, I heard about his own incredible stench. Somebody at Arby’s told me that he smells so bad! That’s crazy! But, like I said, I knew something was off! I don’t know how the Princess and the Mario Bros. can even stand it! I guess that’s just another thing that the ‘System’ doesn’t want you to know.

Now, you know that when I heard about this, I began to seriously consider renouncing my citizenship, burning my passport, and moving to Canada. But then I thought, up there it’s just Tim Horton instead of Ronald McDonald, and, if I burned my passport, I wouldn’t even be able to legally enter Canada. Fascists. Is there nowhere a man like Billy Joe can truly be free?

I’m always gonna keep digging for the truth and I’ll make sure to keep you posted about whatever I find out. So, stay tuned for more mind-blowing revelations in future installments of "Here's Something They Won't Teach You in School." Until then, don’t forget that for just $2877, you can get access to private, air-conditioned restrooms in the VIP cabana next to the main stage at the ‘When We Were Young’ festival in sunny Las Vegas this October, and never stop questioning the ‘System’!