"GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! IF YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY MEATS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDINGS!” - BOY, I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW ROBERT PLANT CAME UP WITH THIS STUFF!
We don’t need no baby, baby
by Robert Plant, Cultural History Columnist
"GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! IF YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY MEATS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDINGS!” - BOY, I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW ROBERT PLANT CAME UP WITH THIS STUFF!
When Robert Plant wrote the hit song “Pink Floyd the Wall” in 1973, music was forever changed. Sad teenagers the world over rejoiced as, finally, someone was able to connect with them in a universal expression of angst about not getting enough dessert for not getting enough meats. Eating meats has always been one of the most important facets of teenage life, as their growing, despondent brains need that good meat energy to survive the grueling ordeal of going to school.
In 1973 it was a well-known and scientifically documented fact that not having enough meats and not having enough puddings. This was fact. However, it took the genius of Plant to weave decades of nutritional information and research together into a coherent single musical work that really got to the most of teenagers who until that time had no other outlet for their sullen dispositions.
In 1977 Plant further changed the world when he unveiled the concept of "laser-show". After many years of grueling work with MIT and DARPA engineers, Plant showcased the concept of shooting laser beams in a darkened room while his hit songs played in the background. The world’s teens again celebrated this awesome new concept and were truly excited to have something to do besides looking glum and smoking cigarettes. Reached for comment, Plant noted; "When I wrote my hit song, “Pink Floyd the Wall”, I knew right away that I had created something great, sometimes you just know, and after I figured out the math behind the laser system for the laser-show concept, I just knew, like, man, I am the best."
And truly he was. But what could have motivated the creation of such divine masterpieces? As I meticulously researched the origins of his creative prowess, I found myself pondering myriad disparate potential catalysts. Could it be the influence of mind-altering substances? Surely in 1973 Plant would have been aware of and had access to drugs technology. Or perhaps an unexplored love of something totally unrelated but equally inspiring like rodeo culture or an unrequited obsession with aquatic life? The thematic depth of "Pink Floyd the Wall" surely suggests a bovine-like submersion into the waters of the subconscious, where undersea ponderings meet lassoed teenaged turmoil.
Plant himself remains cryptic about the songs’ origins, leaving the world to speculate on the alchemy of his inspiration. If it was an intoxicating blend of hedonistic excess, a dalliance with cowboy bravado or an aquatic odyssey; then count me in for the next trip. I mean, I don’t know how he comes up with this stuff, but I’d sure like to write the next “Pink Floyd the Wall”!
