GUESS WHAT? EVERYTHING YOU LIKE SUCKS.
Just in case you didn’t know, this story will be happy to confirm what you may have long expected. Too bad for you.
PLUGGED IN. TURNED UP. TURNED OUT. BUGAA IS THERE.
The man now known as BUGAA woke one morning in the intensive care unit of Can Misses Hospital on the island of Ibiza with no memory and would eventually become the greatest DJ the world had ever seen.
FAST AND DELICIOUS, ALL KINDA PEOPLE LOVE SANDWICHES
“Yum!” That’s the sound of a sandwich. You know; ham, turkey, they’ve got it all with sandwiches! Bread. Everywhere you go, everywhere I’ve ever been, you can ask all people, and they will all say, “Sandwiches!” I guarantee.
STARBUCKS RELEASES PUMPKIN SPICE OFFERINGS EARLIER THAN EVER GIVING OVERWHELMED NATION SOMETHING NEW TO BITCH ABOUT
Starbucks releases Pumpkin Spice Latte’s in August, just in time for Summer! A grateful nation complains.
OH SHIT! MONKEY VERSUS LIZARD, MONKEY VERSUS LIZARD!!!!
Bang! Smoosh! Kabram!!!! GRAF! Clonks! Fire! Fire! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Monkey versus Lizard, Monkey versus Lizard!
GOLFING TOILET MAGAZINE NAMES TOILET WOODS 2024’S BEST GOLFING TOILET
The July issue of Golfing Toilet magazine is out and has proclaimed renowned golfing toilet, Toilet Woods, as its best golfing toilet of 2024.
SOMEONE OUT-PIZZAS THE HUT
Despite its multiple and repeated assertions to the contrary, it seems that someone has indeed "out-pizza’d" the Hut.
THE HEARTWARMINGLY TRAGIC STORY OF COUNTRY MUSIC’S GREATEST RAPPER
Blasphemous. Profane. Sincere. Compassionate. Prolific. Endearing. Generous and prone to wild mood swings. Many words can be used to describe Trevor Deakins. Adjectives mostly.
TODAY’S MOST EMBARRASSING DISCOVERY: SAFEWAY DOES NOT SELL BUTT PLUGS.
“Large or small- we don’t sell butt plugs at all.” That should be a sign in Safeway.
EMINEM ANNOUNCES BIG TRANSFORMATION
An exciting announcement from legendary, famous rapper Eminem, indicating that he will be immediately changing his name to Flip-Boy and will only be rapping in limerick form moving forward.