SOMEONE OUT-PIZZAS THE HUT
Despite its multiple and repeated assertions to the contrary, it seems that someone has indeed "out-pizza’d" the Hut.
THE HEARTWARMINGLY TRAGIC STORY OF COUNTRY MUSIC’S GREATEST RAPPER
Blasphemous. Profane. Sincere. Compassionate. Prolific. Endearing. Generous and prone to wild mood swings. Many words can be used to describe Trevor Deakins. Adjectives mostly.
TODAY’S MOST EMBARRASSING DISCOVERY: SAFEWAY DOES NOT SELL BUTT PLUGS.
“Large or small- we don’t sell butt plugs at all.” That should be a sign in Safeway.
DON Q. SHIRTS SAY: EFFORTLESSLY CONVEY YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR WITH FUNNY SLOGAN T-SHIRTS FOR SALE
T-shirts are the most popular form of clothing among people of all ages. Don’t you even know about T-shirts already?
THIS THINGS YOU CAN HAVE: TEN POUNDS CHEESE IN CAN
Life is crazy. Think about it. Some things can help. I can help you think of some things if you have time to let me. Today I think cheese in can will help.
JUST IN TIME FOR MARCH MADNESS, OUR RECIPE FOR BASKETBALL PIE WILL BUZZER BEATER YOUR STOMACH INTO CINDERELLA STORY BLISS
With just a few simple ingredients, you can turn your watch party into a fun-tastic trip to the emergency room!
5 AWESOME NACHOS RECIPES GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT!
Everybody loves nachos! Here are some delicious new takes that will leave you crying for more!
PETE CARROLL AND RUSSELL WILSON TEAM UP WITH CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF MARSHAWN LYNCH AND FORM NEW NFL FRANCHISE: “SEE YOU IN THE SUPERBOWL, DICKHEADS!”
Exciting news! Pete Carroll (Seattle Seahawks) and Russell Wilson (Denver Broncos) have released a statement indicating that the former championship duo plan to start their own professional football team.
"GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! IF YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY MEATS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDINGS!” - BOY, I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW ROBERT PLANT CAME UP WITH THIS STUFF!
When Robert Plant wrote the hit song “Pink Floyd the Wall” in 1973, music was changed forever. Sad teenagers the world over rejoiced as, finally, someone was able to connect with them in a universal expression of angst about not getting enough dessert for not getting enough meats.
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M BUSY WATCHING ENDER'S GAME
Hi, looks like you dropped by for a hang, but you already know that I got something else going on. Let me break it down for you, one more time.
REPORT: YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO NAMIBIA
You’re never been to Namibia and you’re never going to Namibia, why are you even thinking about it?
DON Q’S PRIVATE HAMS JOINS CHACHO CRAZE, MAKES SHIRTS
Well, you KNOW how Don Q. Shirts likes them Chachos - “mit KÄSE!!”
STATEMENT FROM DON Q'S PRIVATE HAMS, THE T-SHIRT STORE PROMOTED BY JOOPIE VOLRATH
Buy shirts, NOT drink creek water.
JOOPIE VOLRATH, THE CORONAVIRUS RAPPER, HAS NEW MESSAGE FOR FANS
Joopie Volrath, also known as the Coronavirus Rapper, is at it again. This time, she's rapping the praises of creek water! According to Joopie, drinking creek water gave her salmonella, but she still ‘loves it!’
EMINEM ANNOUNCES BIG TRANSFORMATION
An exciting announcement from legendary, famous rapper Eminem, indicating that he will be immediately changing his name to Flip-Boy and will only be rapping in limerick form moving forward.
LOWES ANNOUNCES ‘DOLLAR DAYS’ EVENT WITH JABBO AND THE BOYS
In a move that's sure to leave bros and hoes across the country jumping for joy, Lowes has announced its latest event: Dollar Days with Jabbo and the Boys!
AEROSMITH THREATENS TO ROCK SEATTLE
Legendary rock band Aerosmith has announced plans to perform a tour of the most awful music imaginable and has recently added Seattle to it’s list of city’s to be punished.