
BEYONCÉ ANNOUNCES THE RELEASE OF HER HIGHLY ANTICIPATED MEMOIR
In her new, revealing and candid book, “Players in the Front, Dongs in the Back, Dumps on the Floor." Beyoncé shares her journey to becoming the queen of pop culture and the lessons she learned along the way.

M'S DECLARE 'PRICE OF VICTORY SAME AS COST OF DEFEAT'
Seattle Mariners Embrace Cost-Effective Approach to Achieve Consistent Mediocrity.

FORMER PRESIDENT HOOPIE FRIPS EATS 'COBB' SALAD
Washington, D.C. - Former President Hoopie Frips was seen eating a 'Cobb' salad at a local Herps restaurant.

RUSSELL WILSON TO ‘MAKE IT FRESH’
Denver, CO. – Denver Broncos quarterback, Russell Wilson, announced today that he is changing his signature interview sign-off from "Let’s ride" to "Make it fresh".

EMINEM ANNOUNCES BIG TRANSFORMATION
Detroit, MI - Legendary rapper Eminem has announced that he will be immediately changing his name to Flip-Boy and will only be rapping in limerick form moving forward.

LOWES ANNOUNCES ‘DOLLAR DAYS’ EVENT WITH JABBO AND THE BOYS
In a move that's sure to leave bros and ho's across the country jumping for joy, Lowes has announced its latest event: Dollar Days with Jabbo and the Boys!

AEROSMITH THREATENS TO ROCK SEATTLE WITH TERRIBLE MUSIC
SEATTLE, WA - Legendary rock band Aerosmith has announced its plans to perform a concert of the most awful music imaginable in Seattle, and the city is understandably on edge.