SOUND TRANSIT LAUNCHES BOLD NEW AD CAMPAIGN TO BOOST FLAGGING RIDERSHIP
Seattle, WA. - In an effort to boost use of it’s multi-billion dollar public transportation system, Seattle based Sound Transit has unveiled a new take on their advertisements which seek to highlight the realities of getting from point A to point B across the Puget Sound region.
TOP 10 ROOKIE MOVES WE’VE LOVED TO SEE!
Everybody makes mistakes, especially you. Here are the top 10 rookie moves that we’ve seen you bang out that really inspired us!
OH SHIT! MONKEY VERSUS LIZARD, MONKEY VERSUS LIZARD!!!!
Hollywood, CA. - Bang! Smoosh! Kabram!!!! GRAF! Clonks! Fire! Fire! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Monkey versus Lizard, Monkey versus Lizard! Electric shoots! Glammm! Ker-poo-klip!!! Hrunch! Chram! Run, run, run! It’s Monkey! LIZARD!!!
GOLFING TOILET MAGAZINE NAMES TOILET WOODS 2024’S BEST GOLFING TOILET
San Francisco, TX - Snatch off your clubs and get up your gear! The July issue of Golfing Toilet magazine has proclaimed renowned golfing toilet, Toilet Woods, as its best golfing toilet of 2024.
SOMEONE OUT-PIZZAS THE HUT
Frebs, MN - Despite its multiple and repeated assertions to the contrary, it seems that someone has indeed "out-pizza’d" the Hut.
THE HEARTWARMINGLY TRAGIC STORY OF COUNTRY MUSIC’S GREATEST RAPPER
Blasphemous. Profane. Sincere. Compassionate. Prolific. Endearing. Generous and prone to wild mood swings. Many words can be used to describe Trevor Deakins. Adjectives mostly. A lover of both stompin’ and stunkin’, Trevor was born in Breg, Tennessee, in 1937 and became interested in music at a young age.
TODAY’S MOST EMBARRASSING DISCOVERY: SAFEWAY DOES NOT SELL BUTT PLUGS.
“Large or small- we don’t sell butt plugs at all.” That should be a sign in Safeway
DON Q. SHIRTS SAY: EFFORTLESSLY CONVEY YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR WITH FUNNY SLOGAN T-SHIRTS FOR SALE
T-shirts are the most popular form of clothing among people of all ages. Don’t you even know about T-shirts already?
THIS THINGS YOU CAN HAVE: TEN POUNDS CHEESE IN CAN
Life is crazy. Think about it. Some things can help. I can help you think of some things if you have time to let me. Today I think cheese in can will help.
JUST IN TIME FOR MARCH MADNESS, OUR RECIPE FOR BASKETBALL PIE WILL BUZZER BEATER YOUR STOMACH INTO CINDERELLA STORY BLISS
With just a few simple ingredients, you can turn your watch party into a fun-tastic trip to the emergency room!
OF COURSE!!! COWBOY POEMS BY COWMAN ROB
When I was a kid, I loved that “Crocodile Dundee.”
5 AWESOME NACHOS RECIPES GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT!
Everybody loves nachos! Here are some delicious new takes that will leave you crying for more!
PETE CARROLL AND RUSSELL WILSON TO TEAM UP WITH CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF MARSHAWN LYNCH AND FORM NEW NFL FRANCHISE: “SEE YOU IN THE SUPERBOWL, DICKHEADS!”
Seattle, WA – Following their recent dismissals from their respective teams, Pete Carroll (Seattle Seahawks) and Russell Wilson (Denver Broncos) have released a statement indicating that the former championship duo plan to start their own professional football team.
BUNCHA PEOPLE OUT WALKIN’ AROUND…
Cleveland, OH - Cutting against the grain of all known conversational conventions, Heberton Township resident Shane Brently is at it again. Commanding his formidable skills with the surety of a master swordsman, Shane lets forth a short string of exquisitely chosen words which simultaneously appear to both observe, and call into question the number of people in Glip-Heber Falls Park this afternoon, "Buncha People Out Walkin' Around." He says and asks.
"GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! GO ON, GET YOUR MEATS! IF YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY MEATS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDINGS!” - BOY, I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW ROBERT PLANT CAME UP WITH THIS STUFF!
When Robert Plant wrote the hit song “Pink Floyd the Wall” in 1973, music was changed forever. Sad teenagers the world over rejoiced as, finally, someone was able to connect with them in a universal expression of angst about not getting enough dessert for not getting enough meats.
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M BUSY WATCHING ENDER'S GAME
Hi, looks like you dropped by for a hang, but you already know that I got something else going on. Let me break it down for you, one more time.
REPORT: YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO NAMIBIA
Your House – You were just getting ready to fold some laundry when Namibia popped into your head for some reason. You're pretty sure Namibia is in Africa, but you're not sure where (it's in the southwestern portion of the continent). You think about how you’d love to check out a place like Namibia someday, but you've never even left the state that you were born in.
FELGS BRAND POGO STICKS
Ladies and gentlemen, step into a world of high-flying sophistication with Felgs Brand Pogo Sticks—the British masterpiece that will elevate your leisurely pursuits to new heights. Remember those golden days when the world seemed simpler, and you couldn't imagine life without a delightful jump? Well, we've brought that very spirit into the realm of recreational bouncing!
DON Q.’S PRIVATE HAMS JOINS CHACHO CRAZE, MAKES SHIRTS
Well, you KNOW how Don Q. Shirts likes them; “mit KÄSE!!”
OF COURSE!!! COWBOY POEMS BY COWMAN ROB
Time Sensitive Cowboy